Prose so dignified you're distant

by Herschell Gordon Lewis

Marketing Communications

April 2006

The possibility of success in a pending school-to-prospect relationship is enhanced when an admissions officer adopts the "Bigshot-to-Bigshot" communications approach.   The possibility of success diminishes when an admissions officer becomes the god Zeus, hurling thunderbolts from Mount Olympus.

What's the rhetorical difference?

Herschell Gordon Lewis

Two bigshots, communicating with each other, are convivial. Their statements, whether verbal or written, reflect casual speech, including contractions like "I'm," (not "I am"). 

The admissions officer who's overly aware of his/her position ("I can admit you or reject you") discards the arm-around-the-shoulder approach in favor of a harrumphing tone.  Such a tone eschews contractions and uses "Dear First and Last Name" as the greeting.  Such prose consistently and deliberately projects a standoffish tone larded with words like "utilize" and "perhaps" and "in general."

The litmus test is easy and obvious.  Just ask yourself, "If I were getting (not 'receiving') this message, would I sense genuine personal interest in me?"

Using big, obfuscatory words is as easy as right-clicking "synonym" in your word processor.  For convivial, rapport-inducing words, pretend you're talking as you stroll or share a chocolate sundae. 

Explore and use rapport-inducing words. They'll pay off in positive word of mouth, even when you're rejecting an applicant. In today's brutally negative society, positive word of mouth has great value.  And it cannot be had by hurling thunderbolts.
 

Herschell Gordon Lewis writes direct response copy in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, for clients worldwide.  A former academician, his 29^th published book is entitled "Open Me Now."   His web site is www.herschellgordonlewis.com.